Blythe's Wanderings

poly thoughts

Some of the stuffies I've been processing lately in reflection of others on the poly board:

<<You don't have to have those particular mirrors [Debi Jo speaking of intimate poly mirrors].>>

Not to live, true... however, in my experience, for my arting to be full,
abundant, queued and ready to rock 'n roll? It's come in this way *only* when
I've been "true to my poly nature"... During one two week period (in my 20s) I
created a series of 65 drawings in a flurry of fullness. That's the kind of
ebullience I felt ready to pour forth a few years ago when I "awoke."

<<You will have mirrors in your friends, family and acquaintances, they will
just be of a different type.>>

True... and, don't get me wrong! I truly value those mirrors as well. They are
decidedly *not* the same as the other and though vital and as important as the
relationship I have with my husband (and children), they don't provide the same
avenues to my art. At the same time, I don't believe that eschewing the
relationships I have with my dh et al for the poly alone would allow the arting
to pour forth either. It seems to be the whole picture of fullness - the
stability and security of a loving mate and "family" of friends along *with* the
access to poly partnered mirrors.

<<The important thing (to me) is that you (or I) understand who is making the
decision about how you should live this next most magnificent version of who you
are.>>

Yes! This is very important. When I forget that I have choice (for whatever
reason), I can get resentful and depressed.

<<There is no one else who can make that choice.>>

Absolutely true!

<<Take all the time you need. It's your time. Isn't it great to be alive???>>

Lol, an eternity... and heck yeah! Even if I lean toward impatience at times...
Blythe

AND...

I didn't really state some of these things clearly enough and I've been thinking
more since I wrote so, lol! I'm going to respond to my response so maybe I can
make it more clear...

<<My partner fills so very many of my most necessary needs - I mean life needs.
Could some be better filled? Sure. But, they are needs that are much more easily
filled and not as necessary (if that makes sense).>>

I meant that my husband fills some needs and a kind of deep, underlying support
that I haven't found reflected back to me in other people. The more easily met
and more "surface" needs are way more easy to find in others (for me) so
wouldn't be reasons for me to stay or to to endure the pain. Do I need the
reflection or is it something I could fill in myself? Intellectually, my answer
is "sure"... emotionally? Mmmmmm, not necessarily? Most of the time, yes. But,
the times I really need an other to help me through... not so much. I want to
have another to share my life with - one who shares my hopes and fears and
politicals, one who shares a similar approach to life. I have friends who do as
well, but they aren't life partners in a living with way - though communal
living has always been an ideal for me.

<<What my poly does for me is to offer more full reflection of my self to me so
that I can more fully see all of me. It's more like I have more mirrors
surrounding me. For someone who has studied humings (and herself) all my
lifelong and who also arts to reflect all those findings and learnings back
outward? Those mirrors are invaluable.>>

I meant "acting on my polyness" (which I said to the bone because I can *feel*
it in a very physical way... the article about the poly receptors in voles
definitely felt "right" to me). Even having the "freedom" to act on my polyness
helps me feel more full. Managing multiple relationships takes time and effort.
There are times when my time restrictions would keep other relationships to a
minimum if they weren't at my fingertips (or in the same house/neighborhood as
me). Could I find reflection in other ways? Possibly... but, I haven't found
them in 50+ years of looking so far.

I am an extrovert in many ways... I am an outloud thinker/explorer in many
ways... I am a being who seeks reflection in order to find clarity... I process
through my hands... I love intimacy as a way of exploring others (whom I feel a
deep connection with, not everyone)... I thrive when traveling lifing pathways
and exploration with fellow humings... All these things come together rather
well in a poly lifestyle. And following NONE of these things takes away from the
deep and abiding love I have for my husband. I am NOT trying to find better or
to replace him. I know how rare what I feel in and with and from him is. That is
why (when it comes down to it) I'm willing to set a major component of my self
aside each day that I choose to do so... and, it is a choice I must make almost
daily.

I hope that makes it a li'l clearer for those of you reading :-) And, again...
please ask about and/or challenge anything I've written so I can get even
clearer... Blythe

AND...

In response to Mollie:

<<You sound like deeply compassionate and thoughtful. Thanks so much for your kind
reply.

I wonder what it is you think you are holding back from the world, in not
exploring more actively the passionate and polyamorous aspects of yourself.
Could it be that the world needs this full and vibrant you? How much of keeping
yourself in a sustained, but perhaps less exciting and creative, arrangement is
not ultimately serving your relationship with your husband? Have you ever asked
him what it is that he most deeply wants for you? And what is it that you most
deeply want for yourself?

I absolutely do not have the answers to these questions. I am definitely working
with them right now, and I observe my dear love D examining them himself, in his
own marriage. We love our spouses, we love each other, we want to be able to
follow what our hearts and bodies tells us feels natural. Unfortunately, it is
not so simple in this culture, and with our deeply inculcated beliefs about love
and what commitment is, to do that.

I saw a quote today that seemed so resonant with these questions for me:

"So much of the satisfaction in life is in taking a risk for the thing you love.
You can't take foolish risks; you need to know the difference between a
calculated risk and self-destructiveness, but the love you carry with you and
the risks you take define your life.">>

My response...

As to the questions... I know "what" I'm holding back because I felt it very
specifically and abundantly. Tis the *why* that I'm piqued by... and that is a
very interesting piece for me. It calls into question my spiritual beliefs as
well as the biggie many of us wonder about: Why am I here?

Those are both very difficult questions for me to answer, partly due to my
beliefs. If I thought/felt that this was the only rendition of lifewalking that
I got during my "evolution" I would be living my life and choosing markedly
differently. I do NOT believe that so I am taking this journey with an eye
toward being less vigorous and more observant.

I fully believe that my husband was reaping as much "life" because of my
resonance when I was living fully me. The trouble is in where he thought it was
based and where I know it was based (which are two very different places,
evidently). Once his pain and fear kicked in, I couldn't be the cause of it. I
know this is where Debi's intuitive would say... let *him* handle his own pain
and fear but I simply cannot do that yet. Just as I have pain for an animal when
accidentally hitting it with my car, I cannot be the cause of others' pain when
I feel there are other choices I could make. My empathy gene is rather extreme
and excepts my own pain in deference to others.

Some choices simply seem larger than life - not in an "I can't make them way"
more from an "It will all work out over time with love and compassion" sort of
way... if that makes sense?

AND...

<<[from Sage:] Of course I know it would, he's tried to be mono and was unavailable to me
emotionally on many levels even though I know he was trying. >>

It was amazing for me to see how very shut down I've been for all these years,
Sage. Before my awakening, I would have told anyone asking that my marriage was
just fine because I had so thoroughly "accepted" my "role/position" in life.
Only *afterward* do I know that the power and levels of loving and depth of
caring can be soooooooooooo much greater when I'm living my full self.

This realization makes me wonder how much I'm cheating myself when I'm not
choosing that self daily but waiting - for what I'm not sure. At the same time I
ask myself (nearly daily) whose pain is worse even though I know that I'm not
responsible for taking care of my dh's pain and growth.

Life ain't easy so much of the time... but, I'd rather come through it having
learned and grown as much as possible. Blythe

what if we didn't have...

What if we didn't have some of the trappings we humings have fallen victim to relying on...

I'm talking about the calendar... and clocks... and money...

I know there are very logical reasons and very convenient reasons to have these things... but seriously, they also have their definite down sides...

In my natural state, although I have been known as a very punctual huming, I think I'd be completely satisfied taking life as it comes withouth using a calendar or clock...

Yeah, I know it's really convenient for making appointments (for play and for work), but I can so imagine just being random... just wandering and bumping up against others... spending intense quality time with them in the "spur of the moment"... isn't that kind of what we do in relationships anyway?

Wouldn't it be better for some of us to eat as we are hungry instead of eating because the clock says it's time for lunch or dinner? I've already changed that... we eat dupper, combining dinner/lunch and supper/dinner...

And ::sigh:: money... oh, don't get me started!!! So much evil and inequality and strife and hatred caused by the use of this way too convenient system...

What if we all bartered what we had or could do for what we needed or wanted? What if we had to communicate through others to find the connections we needed? What if it were all about cooperation rather than competition? What if everyone had their survival needs met and were valued for the talents they had rather than the false structure of what some bodiless bunch implies is acceptable?

What if we all lived much more natural and unimpeded lives? Just wondering... more and more...

What if...

I'll get to why this came to me in a moment... but, I just asked a rhetorical of Kitty (at 5:15 am, shaking head!), "What if we create God in our own image, not the other way around?"

Seriously! This would explain so much... it would explain why folks like the Jorgé imagine a God who is patriarchal and authoritarian and a "white-bearded, wise, all-knowing old man" because that is a reflection of how he sees life, how he sees himself growing, it utilizes the filters through which he factors lifing ...

I see God as an energy source flowing through us all, a sort of group consciousness... a kind of "all of us came together to create a whole" and have grown from there... if you couple that with my last blog, that would explain the expanding as well... this energy thrives and grows on connection, therefore it would be growing as the population grows, as we build our energy sources... a symbiotic procreation...

This could also explain why I have a sense that all religions are a piece of the God puzzle... that each of us has a different way of filtering and factoring life and that it takes the diversity to see the whole picture of the Universe... that no one brain can possibly grasp it's entirety...

WOW!

Okay, now to explain the pathway to this assumptive (which I state here and now, that I may find fault with, or otherwise prove/disprove at a future time, lol... this is the fun stuff! for sure!!)

I did some energy work this week for the dear friend of a friend. My friend's friend had attempted suicide and was holding on by a thread. I asked my friend for her friend's name and for an animal with whom she finds connection. My friend did me one better not only by answering my questions but also sending along a photo of her friend.

That night, I created an amulet for her friend (something I use as the stand in/connector for the huming that I'm working with) and began my work. The first night, I could feel an intensely active connection as I communed back and forth with her... I could feel her exhaustion, but also her willingness to listen and share energies... It felt very strong, this connection.

The second night (I do this work when I'm in bed and dozing/in and out of lucidity), I felt the same strength of connection but a heightened sense of agitation... it built to something akin to chaos... I felt like she was still with me, sharing energy, and understanding what I was telling her but that she was losing the grounding... something wasn't "right". I told her that I needed to take a break, that she was deeply loved and that I'd be back.

I then set her amulet aside and left the room for about 45 minutes. When I came back and reconnected, there was a very deep sense of calm in her. The change in energy flowing between us was marked. In fact, the sense of calm was so deep and she felt so at peace that I went from a state of being wide awake to one of sleep in well less than five minutes—something that is rare for me, even when I haven't slept well for a couple of nights.

When I took my shower, I felt a theme pop strongly into my head... I don't know if it's connected to this woman's pain, but I would guess it might be at least part of it... It felt like she was there with me, talking in my head. I've felt this before, particularly when my mother-in-law was passing... she came to me when I was doing the dishes... I had no question that she was there with me. It was at that time that I assured her that I would "take care" of her husband and her son, and that she could go in peace.

Last night when I went to re-open the connection with my friend's friend, there was nothing. Like a dead phone line... zip, nada...

I am going to send my friend an email today asking if her friend passed at or around 3:45 Monday morning, our time. It would certainly explain the shift in energy I felt.

So, back to my rhetorical... what if we create God in our own image so that we can get the teensiest grasp of who/what that picture is? What if we image something that makes sense to us in our own language? What if we're all sensing the same thing, but we explain/describe in a different way because of how our brains work? What if we're simply using our own dictionaries to define, cuz that's what we have to work with? And does this explain why many of us get a better/stronger sense as we age, because we've continued to amass data that helps us to more clearly define?

Which then begs the question: How do you define God? And what does that reflect about who you are in your core being?

Yeah, who could go back to sleep after this! LOL! Good, groovy two-shoes morning, everyone! This is indeed the fun stuff!!!

With a vital noting: I mean in no way to diminish the passing of this lovely woman (if she has indeed passed, I may be totally misreading the lack of connection last night)... she was obviously in deep pain when she made her last choices for this lifetime... but, I feel like she made the ones she needed to make... I also know that she knew she was very loved and very deeply cared about... and, if I'm interpreting my communications with her correctly, she was deeply at peace when she left us... I honor both who she was, who she is becoming and her right to choose her own pathway as she journeys.

Wandering toward the light

QUALIFIER: Below are my own feelings and beliefs about certain aspects of science and religion, etc. They are not up for debate or dispute, as they are fully my opinions and what I have come to "know" at the ripe old age of nearly 49. You should feel free to agree, disagree, be offended, or humored, or any other emotive reaction you wish as I feel it is your God-given/natural right to do so. You just don't need to feel compelled to debate anything I say with me <bwg>! I don't do debate... for reasons I won't go into here.

Now... Wandering Toward the Light:

So... we're coming into the Winter Solstice and my mind is focusing somewhat on just what this means, to me and has meant to many generations of humings for thousands of years, as I am doing a Solstice Celebration with my friends at one of the churches we attend.

As always, my mind is wandering on several looped and circuitous pathways at once! One of these pathways has led me to linking some school we were watching the other day with my own personal beliefs about God (or how I am willing to define such a huge concept). We watched some science about the Universe which described the theories surrounding "dark matter" and "dark energy"... What my brain has done with what we watched and my own beliefs is to intertwine them, thusly:

My belief in God is strong and intuitively unshakeable, though continually being clarified and defined in my own huming terms. My feeling about the dark matter/dark energy explanations is that they're close, but still off with some of the theorizing. I have a major problem with the naming either of them "dark" because of the tendency we humings have in equating "dark" with bad or evil. But, I have not yet come up with better labels... I'm currently trying on "unseen viscous matter" and "self-sustaining energy source", and kinda like those...

So, how do these two fit together?

I believe (or intuit) that what we call God is more an energy flow that connects and makes up all existing things, living and otherwise. I believe that we are all part of One (that would be God, in my dictionary), and that we flow in and out of live material form/presence. I don't believe we cease to exist when our physical bodies die, for two reasons. I have witnessed what I would call proof of otherwise, and I am much too imaginative and fanciful for such a boring and dry (MY OPINION) description of "life".

I believe some of the proof for each of us being a part of a greater whole can be seen in Howard Gardiner's work relating to the different intelligences... I also believe it can be found in the vast diversity and variety of all visible matter...

I truly believe that when one gathers all of it together, we begin to see how it starts to form a whole picture. In my opinion, the greatest disservices that are done in huming existence are done when one mindset is revered over any others... when ONE way is shown to be right to the exclusion of others...

I believe that each religion has part of the answer... that each huming holds part of the light... that each species is part of the painting... that each and every thing that is (whether visible or palpable in huming terms or not) is a vital piece of the whole.

Enter the science... what if what they're labeling "dark matter" is what (we would normally label) "living things" when they die, or more accurately where living/non-living things go when they lose their "physical" presence? And, having lost their physical contraints, they become a flowing, viscous pooling of invisible matter. What if all that " material being" has simply entered into a different state of being, yet still exists? Couldn't "dark matter" be a reflection of all that has been that isn't currently taking "tangible matter" form?

What if God is the "dark energy" that flows through and between and surrounding all creation, sustaining all of us and itself? They say the Universe is expanding at a fairly decent rate of speed... does this correlate at all with the gaining populations on the Earth? And if not, couldn't there be growing populations on other planets or parts of the Universe? Just wondering... and wandering... and grinning ear to ear in mirthful play.

In my theoretical (though intuitively true :-) world, God isn't an entity with huming emotionals so much as a presence and energy source for and of life (in its fullest definition)—a wellspring, if you will. God is so vast and so intangible that the closest most huming minds can come to grasping it is to form huming-type descriptions and definitions that are easier to hold onto (not meaning to belittle this Greatness by using the label "it", rather trying not to assign a gender). While this huming tendency is wholly understandable to me, it's also ripe with the failing (again, my opinion!) of needing to stay put and within a comfortable realm of "known" rather than venturing out into a larger arena of vastness, learning and growth.

Well now... how's that for some seeds to chew on? And, yep! That's how my brain woke me up this morning... sure is fascinating to witness this puppy when it's in full wander, even though it often robs my body of the needs it has. Just one small drawback to the physical plane, I suppose... But, that's a whole other wander <bwg>...

giving thanks...

lots to be grateful for... on this day, one that has become (for me) a traditional day of thanksgiving...

let's see <bwg> there's family - those i live with and those who are far, far away... friends - those i get to see often and/or talk with often and those with whom i only share time with infrequently or with wide spaced between... friend new, and old... for community - online, churching, and other... for the wealth of nature and gregariousness of my animal friends... for having had a childhood (while sometimes not easy) that gave me a strong foundation in which to finally flourish.

here's hoping each and everyone of you has gotten some time in the past week or so to stop and drink in of some pure life positive momenting...

my sister, shawn, and her family instituted a ritual when they had a foster son that they continue to this day, even though their son has moved on... each night, around the dinner table, they join hands and say something they're grateful for - even when they have company... i thought this was such a great practice that i've incorporated it into our COA (Coming of Age) Program at church. Each Sunday, we start our time together with our Gratitudes... we end withour Graces (something positive they've learned or done that day together that they'll be taking forward with them).

as far as i'm concerned, there is more than enough in this world to dwell in the negative about... every time we can find a moment to touch the positive, we should do so... but, that's just me <bwg>

happy, happy, happy day! hugs til next time...

still more puzzlings...

and, yeah... my brain woke me up in this state of wandering... can be quite unnerving when one would much rather be sleeping and/or dreaming!

so, what about dyslexia? is it really a disability? or is it more a piece of evidence that certain brains are extremely spacial and have to work hard to translate the two-dimensional plane of literacy? (more in a bit...) why do we humings* have such a strong tendency to feel rightness? and further... to assume our rightness onto others? (again, more in a bit) why is it so hard to accept that we are each part of a whole so much bigger than our individual selves? why the rushing to judge? to compartmentalize? to assume a better than status? to compete rather than to cooperate?

okay... about the dyslexia. (and I'll interject here, that my particular brain loves patterns and thusly loves to theorize all over itself and anyone else who comes near... I do not pretend to check these puppies out by anything close to scientific study... tis all simply-or complexly ;-)- my own observationals and wonderings in life!) yeah, the dyslexia...

my father, sister and half-brother have it... and my youngest son (probably would test out as) having it. here's my observational on this pesky lil complexity that (IMO) far too many rush to label a hindrance and a disability...

each of these 4 people is extremely spacially gifted. and each, i feel, has a decent amount of intelligence. my dad repairs antique furniture and such in a totally natural way, intuiting and feeling what to do and how to fix/solve whatever problems present themselves. he "sees" them finished in his head. my sister has an incredible sense of interior space design. she can walk through a building and redesign the interior in a matter of minutes, even if it has an abundance of other stuff in it that would have to be removed before any work began. my brother was so gifted in his sense of construction that he was slotted for promotion to management as a relatively young man, before he was injured and had to quit. my son can build lego structures in his head so that he then can follow through in real space, making them with the blocks complete with the necessary interior support. this one also does certain types of arithemetic in his head, faster than i could ask a calculator to do the same.

here's my sincere question to you (and the "authorities" out there): who is to say that just because these folks came slowly to reading and/or translating the written word, their talents in other areas aren't just as viable and to be utilized as those who would read? in fact, i could be a real stinker and ask if their talents aren't actually to be *more* cherished because they are much less in number than are the folks whose talents are vast in numbers?

i don't know how my dad learned to read, i think i remember him telling me it took a long time and that he was able to fudge enough to get by in school by memorizing etc... don't know about my half-brother, either. i do know that his writing never really made it past a "third grade level". i know my sister went through "special extra-curricular training" to "overcome" her dyslexia. she's very happy she did (she says) because it helped her to more easily fit in the learning system at school. it also gave her a tool that she's able to use throughout her lifetime minglings with our society.

my son? well, he's darn lucky (in my not so humble opinion). we homeschool. in his particular case, because of his competitive and challenging nature, i truly believe his being a part of the "regular" school system would have been devastating — both to him and to the school. without going into the personality traits he has, may do that at some other time, i'll simply state that labeling him and putting him in an "outsider" class w/in the system would have exacerbated those traits.

instead, i took the tack of letting him decipher the code of reading and writing in his own time. while his siblings began reading around the ages 4 and 5, our youngest didn't reach that ability until he was around eleven. his writing continues to be more near kindergarten levels, though his reading has vastly improved.

i decided a long time ago to let my children learn through their own styles rather than force my style upon them or insist they learn through some other "experts" routing. it's extremely clear to me that each of them filters and learns in a completely unique (from their siblings) way.

our oldest took 2 weeks to learn to ride a bike. he was overly careful, wanted to be steadied at all times, worked in short spurts then retreated to let his brain feel it and to calm himself into the process. he only fell once during the whole process. this has proven out to be how he processes most things in life. he's careful, thorough in his study, and diligent in his choices. he is very much a whole-brain thinker.

our middle one learned in less than a day. she fell countless times, didn't want training wheels or to be slowed down by my holding onto the bike, and mastered the riding with smiles and confidence. it was something to conquer, something to take her toward freedom of movement. this child had been completely consistent up to that moment with this kind of approach.

i tell stories of parents at play parks looking at our behavior at first glance with great question. how could we take an 8-month old up one of those two-twirl slides and drop her down w/o a parent? as soon as they saw her come out the other end into her daddy's arms one big sparkling giggle, their demeanor would completely change. she so obviously loved it! her favorite position as an infant was inverted. she loved big movement games, and she climbed way before she crawled or walked. this kid is so highly body kinesthetic that she can't do laughing gas at the dentist because it separates her from her body, forcing an altered state of being...

while our youngest has chosen to forego the bike riding for now, he much prefers walk abouts, he has shown that his brain is unique. he didn't say many more than five or ten words before he was 5 years old. so how did we communicate? HE taught US a sign language that he developed. he has proven himself over and over again to relate to the world in a spacial manner. the one two-dimensional task he mastered at an early age was to do complex mazes correctly in an immediate manner. he would pick up the crayon and start at the beginning and go to the end without hesitation or wrong turns. i'm guessing this has to do with the spacial nature of these puzzles, as it is the only thing on the flat plane that he could do proficiently for a long time.

the above may sound trivial and/or like not much at all, but that's more to do with my incomplete descriptions of their talents than who they really are... in order to really know, i believe, one must watch each of them with an open and receptive mind.

here's the problem that i have: with putting so much importance on one brain-type, or talenting, than any others... we can imply that that kind is better. we can lose sight of the wealth of variety and leaps ahead that can happen when we cooperate and work together to solve puzzles and problems.

the other thing i said i'd get to in a bit: assuming our own rightness onto others. by this, i mean when one person is so sure they are right that they step further into presumption that it is the only rightness and that other approaches are therefore wrong, instead of simply different. this one always whacks me upside the head when it rears, because it is so foreign to my own natural way. while my own sometimes judgemental words may belie it, i am very much a believer in live and let live (as long as no harm is done). i don't give a hoot nor a holler if you like coffee even though i can't stand the stuff. doesn't hurt me for you to drink it (though i rarely spend much time near where they're roasting or brewing it cuz i can't stand the smell). still, that's my problem not the coffee lover's. smoking? that's another issue! i think most of us know by now that it's a definite hazard to others, and we're working hard to exclude it from our lives... i was astounded to learn that nearly 80% of us don't smoke! what the heck?! says something about capitalism (in my leaping opinion) that we've been putting up with second-hand smoke for this long!

the tobacco companies thought they were right in believing that their profit line was more important than the health of millions... and they got a heckuva lot of power people to allow them to continue... imo, they are still free and clear — yeah, even after the lawsuits... imo, the stuff should be illegal... but, that's not the society i want to live in so, nevermind ;-)

the rightness deal: i've had people so misinterpret what i say, at times, that i wonder how any of us can coexist. how they interpret my words or stance on something through their own filters and context that we're actually not communicating at all, though we're using the same language and the same words. at such times, it's easy for me to see how we can have wars... how we can so misunderstand other cultures. i've also seen how vital and important it can be to talk through those differences in interpretation until (if not on the same page) you're at least in the same book.

think i'll wander off for now into some of the tangible evidence making that i've been awake and alive today... til we meet again... hugs and joy!

 

*huming—hU-ming (as in LONG "u" like hugh grant, jackman or laurie followed by a chinese dynasty... NOT the noise made when you don't know the words to a song, but do know the melody) this is my invented word for what we, who feel a need to group together as homo sapiens sapiens, are... not human being, but huming... tis more fun to say and much more playful (in my opinion, of course)

And so it goes...

WELCOME! You've found one place the Blythe brain wanders outloud... If you're in here, you've either been invited or you're curious enough to have followed some thread connecting your tapestry of lifing with mine...

You are very welcome to weave through and wander with, as long as you keep your toxins to yourself. I may shed a few in here, myself... but it's my blog and I get to do as I please... you can leave any time of your own free will.

I'll warn ya, I can be opinionated... feel free to share your insights with me, if you think there might be more for me to consider... if you think I've missed something... But, be warned, it may just send me off on another tangential and then you may find that I'm (how shall I say this?) "hopeless" (in your eyes)...

I basically love life, and usually enjoy the learnings that I find along this amazing pathway... part of what makes it so fun for me is puzzling out the variety of wonders we're presented with.

I hope to wonder and wander outloud in here... a place to scream with joy, celebrate with friends, laugh at the outrageous, play with daily living, rage at the inequities, and truly ponder some of the most puzzling...

For instance: Are most conservatives pessimists? Are most liberals (sorry, I don't like the word "progressives" as I think it's just a bit judgemental) idealists and optimists? Are wars a natural progression (that's an okay place for that word ;-) even though I'm about to make a judgement) of competition and an inability to use whole-brain thinking? Just how much is society limited by the mind types that run it? Why is it so hard to have variety be acceptable to everyone? (I actually think I know the answer to that one <bwg>) and lots of others...

If I can train myself, this should become a place that I regularly visit... If you're interested enough, maybe you can too!