Blythe's Wanderings

giving thanks...

lots to be grateful for... on this day, one that has become (for me) a traditional day of thanksgiving...

let's see <bwg> there's family - those i live with and those who are far, far away... friends - those i get to see often and/or talk with often and those with whom i only share time with infrequently or with wide spaced between... friend new, and old... for community - online, churching, and other... for the wealth of nature and gregariousness of my animal friends... for having had a childhood (while sometimes not easy) that gave me a strong foundation in which to finally flourish.

here's hoping each and everyone of you has gotten some time in the past week or so to stop and drink in of some pure life positive momenting...

my sister, shawn, and her family instituted a ritual when they had a foster son that they continue to this day, even though their son has moved on... each night, around the dinner table, they join hands and say something they're grateful for - even when they have company... i thought this was such a great practice that i've incorporated it into our COA (Coming of Age) Program at church. Each Sunday, we start our time together with our Gratitudes... we end withour Graces (something positive they've learned or done that day together that they'll be taking forward with them).

as far as i'm concerned, there is more than enough in this world to dwell in the negative about... every time we can find a moment to touch the positive, we should do so... but, that's just me <bwg>

happy, happy, happy day! hugs til next time...

still more puzzlings...

and, yeah... my brain woke me up in this state of wandering... can be quite unnerving when one would much rather be sleeping and/or dreaming!

so, what about dyslexia? is it really a disability? or is it more a piece of evidence that certain brains are extremely spacial and have to work hard to translate the two-dimensional plane of literacy? (more in a bit...) why do we humings* have such a strong tendency to feel rightness? and further... to assume our rightness onto others? (again, more in a bit) why is it so hard to accept that we are each part of a whole so much bigger than our individual selves? why the rushing to judge? to compartmentalize? to assume a better than status? to compete rather than to cooperate?

okay... about the dyslexia. (and I'll interject here, that my particular brain loves patterns and thusly loves to theorize all over itself and anyone else who comes near... I do not pretend to check these puppies out by anything close to scientific study... tis all simply-or complexly ;-)- my own observationals and wonderings in life!) yeah, the dyslexia...

my father, sister and half-brother have it... and my youngest son (probably would test out as) having it. here's my observational on this pesky lil complexity that (IMO) far too many rush to label a hindrance and a disability...

each of these 4 people is extremely spacially gifted. and each, i feel, has a decent amount of intelligence. my dad repairs antique furniture and such in a totally natural way, intuiting and feeling what to do and how to fix/solve whatever problems present themselves. he "sees" them finished in his head. my sister has an incredible sense of interior space design. she can walk through a building and redesign the interior in a matter of minutes, even if it has an abundance of other stuff in it that would have to be removed before any work began. my brother was so gifted in his sense of construction that he was slotted for promotion to management as a relatively young man, before he was injured and had to quit. my son can build lego structures in his head so that he then can follow through in real space, making them with the blocks complete with the necessary interior support. this one also does certain types of arithemetic in his head, faster than i could ask a calculator to do the same.

here's my sincere question to you (and the "authorities" out there): who is to say that just because these folks came slowly to reading and/or translating the written word, their talents in other areas aren't just as viable and to be utilized as those who would read? in fact, i could be a real stinker and ask if their talents aren't actually to be *more* cherished because they are much less in number than are the folks whose talents are vast in numbers?

i don't know how my dad learned to read, i think i remember him telling me it took a long time and that he was able to fudge enough to get by in school by memorizing etc... don't know about my half-brother, either. i do know that his writing never really made it past a "third grade level". i know my sister went through "special extra-curricular training" to "overcome" her dyslexia. she's very happy she did (she says) because it helped her to more easily fit in the learning system at school. it also gave her a tool that she's able to use throughout her lifetime minglings with our society.

my son? well, he's darn lucky (in my not so humble opinion). we homeschool. in his particular case, because of his competitive and challenging nature, i truly believe his being a part of the "regular" school system would have been devastating — both to him and to the school. without going into the personality traits he has, may do that at some other time, i'll simply state that labeling him and putting him in an "outsider" class w/in the system would have exacerbated those traits.

instead, i took the tack of letting him decipher the code of reading and writing in his own time. while his siblings began reading around the ages 4 and 5, our youngest didn't reach that ability until he was around eleven. his writing continues to be more near kindergarten levels, though his reading has vastly improved.

i decided a long time ago to let my children learn through their own styles rather than force my style upon them or insist they learn through some other "experts" routing. it's extremely clear to me that each of them filters and learns in a completely unique (from their siblings) way.

our oldest took 2 weeks to learn to ride a bike. he was overly careful, wanted to be steadied at all times, worked in short spurts then retreated to let his brain feel it and to calm himself into the process. he only fell once during the whole process. this has proven out to be how he processes most things in life. he's careful, thorough in his study, and diligent in his choices. he is very much a whole-brain thinker.

our middle one learned in less than a day. she fell countless times, didn't want training wheels or to be slowed down by my holding onto the bike, and mastered the riding with smiles and confidence. it was something to conquer, something to take her toward freedom of movement. this child had been completely consistent up to that moment with this kind of approach.

i tell stories of parents at play parks looking at our behavior at first glance with great question. how could we take an 8-month old up one of those two-twirl slides and drop her down w/o a parent? as soon as they saw her come out the other end into her daddy's arms one big sparkling giggle, their demeanor would completely change. she so obviously loved it! her favorite position as an infant was inverted. she loved big movement games, and she climbed way before she crawled or walked. this kid is so highly body kinesthetic that she can't do laughing gas at the dentist because it separates her from her body, forcing an altered state of being...

while our youngest has chosen to forego the bike riding for now, he much prefers walk abouts, he has shown that his brain is unique. he didn't say many more than five or ten words before he was 5 years old. so how did we communicate? HE taught US a sign language that he developed. he has proven himself over and over again to relate to the world in a spacial manner. the one two-dimensional task he mastered at an early age was to do complex mazes correctly in an immediate manner. he would pick up the crayon and start at the beginning and go to the end without hesitation or wrong turns. i'm guessing this has to do with the spacial nature of these puzzles, as it is the only thing on the flat plane that he could do proficiently for a long time.

the above may sound trivial and/or like not much at all, but that's more to do with my incomplete descriptions of their talents than who they really are... in order to really know, i believe, one must watch each of them with an open and receptive mind.

here's the problem that i have: with putting so much importance on one brain-type, or talenting, than any others... we can imply that that kind is better. we can lose sight of the wealth of variety and leaps ahead that can happen when we cooperate and work together to solve puzzles and problems.

the other thing i said i'd get to in a bit: assuming our own rightness onto others. by this, i mean when one person is so sure they are right that they step further into presumption that it is the only rightness and that other approaches are therefore wrong, instead of simply different. this one always whacks me upside the head when it rears, because it is so foreign to my own natural way. while my own sometimes judgemental words may belie it, i am very much a believer in live and let live (as long as no harm is done). i don't give a hoot nor a holler if you like coffee even though i can't stand the stuff. doesn't hurt me for you to drink it (though i rarely spend much time near where they're roasting or brewing it cuz i can't stand the smell). still, that's my problem not the coffee lover's. smoking? that's another issue! i think most of us know by now that it's a definite hazard to others, and we're working hard to exclude it from our lives... i was astounded to learn that nearly 80% of us don't smoke! what the heck?! says something about capitalism (in my leaping opinion) that we've been putting up with second-hand smoke for this long!

the tobacco companies thought they were right in believing that their profit line was more important than the health of millions... and they got a heckuva lot of power people to allow them to continue... imo, they are still free and clear — yeah, even after the lawsuits... imo, the stuff should be illegal... but, that's not the society i want to live in so, nevermind ;-)

the rightness deal: i've had people so misinterpret what i say, at times, that i wonder how any of us can coexist. how they interpret my words or stance on something through their own filters and context that we're actually not communicating at all, though we're using the same language and the same words. at such times, it's easy for me to see how we can have wars... how we can so misunderstand other cultures. i've also seen how vital and important it can be to talk through those differences in interpretation until (if not on the same page) you're at least in the same book.

think i'll wander off for now into some of the tangible evidence making that i've been awake and alive today... til we meet again... hugs and joy!

 

*huming—hU-ming (as in LONG "u" like hugh grant, jackman or laurie followed by a chinese dynasty... NOT the noise made when you don't know the words to a song, but do know the melody) this is my invented word for what we, who feel a need to group together as homo sapiens sapiens, are... not human being, but huming... tis more fun to say and much more playful (in my opinion, of course)

And so it goes...

WELCOME! You've found one place the Blythe brain wanders outloud... If you're in here, you've either been invited or you're curious enough to have followed some thread connecting your tapestry of lifing with mine...

You are very welcome to weave through and wander with, as long as you keep your toxins to yourself. I may shed a few in here, myself... but it's my blog and I get to do as I please... you can leave any time of your own free will.

I'll warn ya, I can be opinionated... feel free to share your insights with me, if you think there might be more for me to consider... if you think I've missed something... But, be warned, it may just send me off on another tangential and then you may find that I'm (how shall I say this?) "hopeless" (in your eyes)...

I basically love life, and usually enjoy the learnings that I find along this amazing pathway... part of what makes it so fun for me is puzzling out the variety of wonders we're presented with.

I hope to wonder and wander outloud in here... a place to scream with joy, celebrate with friends, laugh at the outrageous, play with daily living, rage at the inequities, and truly ponder some of the most puzzling...

For instance: Are most conservatives pessimists? Are most liberals (sorry, I don't like the word "progressives" as I think it's just a bit judgemental) idealists and optimists? Are wars a natural progression (that's an okay place for that word ;-) even though I'm about to make a judgement) of competition and an inability to use whole-brain thinking? Just how much is society limited by the mind types that run it? Why is it so hard to have variety be acceptable to everyone? (I actually think I know the answer to that one <bwg>) and lots of others...

If I can train myself, this should become a place that I regularly visit... If you're interested enough, maybe you can too!