Dear, dear humings...
This is a call of arms - not a call to arms of the double barrel, high fallutin' kind but the hold up your hand in front of your body and firmly say "Stop!" kind. I beseech each and every one of you to ground yourself then gather with one another to talk and grow strongly aligned.
After a quick chat with some delightful friends this morning we recognized some very specific realities. I offer them here along with an implorment. I ask you to look at behaviors and follow your emotions. Dig deep... this ain't always easy to deal with.
*The qualifier: I know there are exceptions to my "rules" below, so forgive me if I generalize in order to make my points.
We liberals tend to be a live and let live sort who will fight for others to be who they are and live as they will as long as they... fill in your own blank. Conservatives, on the other hand, tend to want to have things their way (often deemed the "right" way) and by definition don't see as broad a picture of the world as do we.
We tend to "give in" to their wants and turn a blind eye to their activities even when they sting, feel unfair or cause us bumps and bruises. And therein lies the rub... We keep turning the other cheek and they seem to have no trouble continuing to slap and keep pushing us beyond our boundaries inch by inch until we are way over our normal lines of comfort. We need to realize that they are playing a vastly different game of life than we are playing. We need to stop applying our rules to the game. The other side is increasingly proving to us that they are NOT playing by the same rules. In order to regain order, we will need to see their game and rules for what they are.
I would suggest that we stop looking at our conservative brothers, sisters, family, friends and politicians as living through the same motivations as are we. They truly are not. I suggest that we look, instead, at them through the filters of abuse. Whether your own life has been touched by alcohol or spouse abuse, gambling or parental abuse... gather all the information that you have (or arm yourself with some of the vast information available) and start looking at (specifically) the political conservatives in this country and around the world as though they are abusers and we (the liberally accepting) are enablers.
Instead of continuing to cave to their antics and give up way too many of our own comforts and freedoms so that they may continue to "win" and tell the world around them "lies" of their own truth (which I truly believe cause such heinous acts as the recent Norway tragedies... our conservatives' rhetoric can truly reverberate around the world to other unstable minds), we need to send them to their rooms to get real. They need our tough love in order to bring order back to the growing chaos their actions are creating *before* we reach a point of no return and of revolution.
It's my premise that conservatives, by the nature of their conservatism, don't see the same picture that liberals see. They want order and control and a rigid structure around them. It feels safe. Unfortunately, some of them know how to frame things and market their rhetoric so they can scare others (normally thinking, high functioning humings) into following them down dark alleys. All we need to do is to turn on some lights and keep them shining into the dark recesses so those blinded by fear can see there are no monsters next door... there is only the smoke and mirrors of a few super-addicts.
As I say, do the research. Learn the patterns of abusive behavior. We need to step out of their ring and back into our own place of abundance and freedom. Let us reframe the reality. Let us take back the reins in order to keep them from their continued reign of terror.
We are in difficult times where everyone seems to "know the answer" even if the answers are hard to define. More likely true is that each of us has a piece of the answer. Let's embrace our mistakes for the wisdom they have to teach us. Let us calm ourselves, breathe deeply and take back our country from the few. We (the many) have a lot more to lose and more than a lot to gain.
I know it's not currently "politically correct" to pit us against them but! *they* are making it that kind of game. We want to include everyone... we want to be accepting and open and honest. They don't. And, they use our own loving will against us to their own advantage. (I'm not making this up. Seriously, talk to the nearest abuse expert.) We are being abused and we are helping them do it by enabling this ridiculousness.
Arm yourselves with the knowledge. Then tell your friends, tell your family, tell your neighbors. Stand up! Empower yourselves! Say "Stop, no more!" We need to do what it takes - NOW! We can do this... there are vastly more of us than there are of them (those few trying to control the outcome).
Spot on. But might I remind what most co-dependents working recovery know and that is that it gets worse before it gets better so we really need to do as you state and get grounded so that we can be up for the task ahead.
My experience, too, is that often people will reassess when they have the light shone on their dark places. Once I had a group of young people whip around the corner as I was pulling out of my driveway and they were angry because they had to slow down. The driver door opened and from the backseat out stepped a 19-20yo young man with a bat. Now I had my then 3yo son in the car and I was dressed for a job interview. (I was in my late 30's and dressed in a suit...so I imagine that was something unexpected to him...not sure the same results would have came into being if I was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and was their same age, or even if I were male and gave an attitude of bravado or something...)
Something came over me and I stepped out of my car and said "Are you going to go after my 3yo after you hit me with that bat?" and suddenly hearing the words out loud the guy stopped in his tracks and said, "ah, no I wasn't going to hit anyone, I just wanted to know why you pulled out in front of us?" Of course that wasn't quite the truth (because who makes an inquiry of that nature with a bat in their hand), but I let it be the truth so we could all move past the incident. Now I'm not sure that is the best course of action in every dangerous situation, but sometimes all it takes is shining that light. I think in that situation the guy and his rage were in autopilot, and hearing his intentions out loud (or shining the light on it) made him reassess what it was he wanted to do. At least that is how I choose to see it. LOL
Posted by: Shelley | July 30, 2011 at 12:49 AM